For the past few weeks, I have been preparing to write this blog entry. I have tried to hand write it out, but it just doesn’t seem to be coming together. However, as I sit here and just pour my heart out through my fingers hitting the computer, I can feel God’s strength as He gives me the message that I have for others. I think it is definitely something that He wants, because I can’t let it go. So, here I am ready to be obedient to what He is asking me to do.
Almost 19 years ago, I was in a serious car accident that almost took my life. I rear-ended a parked semi truck on a four-lane road within city limits. I won’t go into the gory details, but I can tell you after 2 surgeries, 99 stitches, 3 skin grafts and several months of therapy, I was lucky to be alive. I stayed conscious through the initial moments of the accident. I honestly don’t remember feeling much pain, but I do remember seeing the horrific laceration on my right arm. Even after spending 5 days in the hospital, I honestly don’t remember experiencing very much pain while I was there. I am sure that it had something to do with the “wonder” drugs that were being pumped into my body. Still, it wasn’t until I came “home” from the hospital that I really began to feel the affects of the accident. I had difficulty sleeping as I had to keep my arm elevated and sleep on my back at all times. I also had jammed my right leg from slamming the break, so it was uncomfortable to walk for awhile too. If I would happen to hit my arm ever so slightly, excruciating pain would send waves up my arm. The pain sometimes was unbearable. But after some time, sleepless nights and tears, healing began to take place.
There are other kinds of pain. Emotional pain can take many forms; the grief of loss, overwhelming stress, depression, job burnout, heart break, trust issues, anger, worry and so many more. This kind of “heart” pain can become as debilitating as physical pain and sometimes even more. So what do we do to heal from this kind of pain? Often times we don’t. We tend to treat our wounds in ways where we don’t have to face them because it is just so painful. Maybe we mask it with alcohol, food or even become so overloaded in our jobs or responsibilities that we don’t have the time to “deal” with the pain. Have you been there? I know I certainly have been there more than once.
HEALING HURTS. That is a fact from a physical and an emotional hurt. No matter how difficult it may be to heal from both, we have to endure more pain and struggles. Healing takes time. When we have a physical hurt, we don’t have much choice sometimes to take that time to heal. I know after my accident, I couldn’t do a lot of things I had done before. I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t take a shower, and I couldn’t dress myself. I had wonderful support from my family that helped me get around and take care of myself. But after time, I was able to function on my own normally. It is the same with our heart hurts. We cannot do it in our own strength and we don’t have to do it alone.
Jesus Christ is our Great Physician. He is our healer! He will carry us through those times of hurt and pain. I have been there too many times, and each time He is right there ready to pck up the pieces to whatever is broken and make me whole again. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals those who have a broken heart. He heals their sorrows.” (New Life Version) I am so glad that we have a Savior who cares and loves us so much!
Today, I have full function of my arm. Sometimes, I forget that there is a large scar. The pain isn’t there anymore. But the scar is a reminder that God spared my life. And because of that, God has been able to use me as a wife, mother, servant and so much more. I am forever grateful that I have been able to do all of those things. There will be reminders of the hurt. Remembering reminds us where we have been and how God has used our hurt in our lives and in the lives of others. That brings me comfort and hope. My prayer is that I can one day look on those past hurts and be grateful to God for bringing me out of that and praise Him for what He has done since. David praises God in Psalm 108:1, “My heart is fixed, O God; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises, even with my glory.” (ASV) Our hearts will be fixed by the only one who can…the one who created it!